This isn’t your typical story, but I hope you will take some time, read it anyway, and help me figure this out. I’m hiding at a friend’s house right now – for reasons I will mention further down – and I just want this out into the world before it’s too late.
It all started in Stockholm, close to Odenplan. Yesterday, while I was on my way home from work, I accidentally collided with a man on the street. He practically ran into me, seeming to be in a hurry. He behaved as if he was running away from something.
The man was wearing a business suit, but it looked like he had rolled around in the dirt with it. After we collided, he took off. Once I had collected myself, I noticed that he had dropped a flash drive on the ground. I picked it up and looked around, but the man was already out of sight.
The flash drive was yellow and had some red text on it that said, Yellow Neutral Inc. We open doors. I brought the flash drive home with me. I didn’t like the idea of attaching an unfamiliar device to my computer, but I thought it could help me figure out who he was so that I could give it back to him. However, the only thing I found on it was a PDF-file named “YN-4511932/DDRX”.
After reading the file, I didn’t know what to think. At first, I assumed it was made up, but three black cars stopped outside my apartment a few hours later. Four secret service-looking men, followed by two others in yellow hazmat suits, entered the building. I didn’t think it had anything to do with me until I saw the company’s logo printed on the side of one of the hazmat suits. Yellow Neutral Inc.
I quickly fled my apartment, bolting through my backyard. I’m now in hiding, fearing for my life, all because of this strange document.
Case No.: YN-4511932/DDRX
Authors: Prof. Jasmine Sjöstedt, Dr. Benjamin Nordlund
Status: Unsolved
Instructions:
Frans Oscar’s diaries are to be stored in the library at Sector-49 and can only be read by personnel with special permission from the head librarian, Dr. Timothy Friedman, in study room 04. Personnel with an IQ over 120 or above are forbidden to read more than 25% of the diaries and are recommended to only read 10% to minimize the risk of psychological issues. When 25% of the diaries have been read, the studies must then be taken over by someone else within the assigned research team.
After repeated trials with cognitively underdeveloped test subjects, it has been determined that it is safe to read the diaries by anyone with an IQ under 100. Editions of diaries found outside containment – for example, in electronic form on the internet or printed versions in second-hand bookstores – are to be destroyed. Continuations of the diaries written by infected subjects, however, are to be brought to Sector-49 for containment.
Five infected subjects are to be kept, in separate cells, at Sector-49 at all times. All five infected are to have access to pen and paper. Everything they write is to be brought to Dr. Friedman. Please note that communication with any of the infected requires permission from Dr. Friedman.
If any of the infected dies in containment, they must be replaced with a new infected subject. If no infected have been found in the field within six months, a test subject with an IQ of 120 or higher will be forced to read the diaries to completion. This is to be done under direct observation in study room 04. When the test subject has been reclassified as an infected subject by Dr. Friedman, it is to be placed in the same cell as the subject it is replacing. All infected subjects – except the five in containment – are to be sought out and eliminated by company agents.
Description:
Frans Oscar’s diaries are a memetic virus. The diaries consist of 10 original volumes – including an introductory prelude – and an unknown amount of volumes written by infected subjects. Each original volume, including the prelude, is approximately 100,000 words long and exists both in printed and electronic forms. The original volumes extend from November 25, 2002, to February 14, 2017, and the prelude covers the time from Frans Oscar’s birth to the date he started writing the diary.
Frans Oscar was born in Stockholm, Sweden, on January 29, 1985, and died by suicide on February 14, 2017. Most of what we know about him comes from the diaries, but a lot of it has later been confirmed through interviews with his relatives, documents from Swedish authorities, and traces on the internet. Frans Oscar studied philosophy – specializing in philosophy of mind – but ended his life as a cleaner at Hornstulls service house at Södermalm in Stockholm, Sweden.
Based on hints at the end of his writings, it is believed that Frans Oscar intentionally created his diaries to have abnormal effects on readers, with the help of his close friend Dr. Martin Larsson, who worked as a cognitive scientist at Karolinska Institutet in Stockholm, Sweden; until he disappeared without a trace soon after Frans Oscar’s suicide. According to the diaries, Frans Oscar and Dr. Larson jointly wrote a book about consciousness titled The Connection Theory of Consciousness. After completing the book, Frans Oscar made one last entry in his diary, in which he wrote that he had “finally solved the riddle.”
Throughout his life, Frans Oscar suffered from an irrational fear of death, but at the same time, he hated his own life. It is agreed among Yellow Neutral researchers that this internal contradiction is what Frans Oscar referred to as ‘the riddle.’
It is currently unknown how their theory of consciousness made it possible to solve this riddle, thus creating the anomalous properties of the diaries. As of today, all attempts to find a copy of The Connection Theory of Consciousness have failed. However, an earlier version of the theory, that Frans Oscar wrote as a teenager does exist. It is referred to in the prelude to the diaries, but Yellow Neutral researchers still haven’t been able to derive any meaning from it.
The abnormal effects of the diaries are best detailed by a description of infected subjects. Subjects become infected if they read the diaries in their entirety and meet certain intelligence standards. When someone with an IQ of 120 or more reads the diaries cover to cover, they will slowly begin to change, culminating in the loss of the reader’s original personality in favor of Frans Oscar’s; the subjects become completely convinced they are Frans Oscar.
Some evidence suggests this is more than a psychotic delusion, only about 1% of all observed infected subjects are able to refer to events in Frans Oscar’s life that are not mentioned in his diaries. However, it is not clear yet if these are genuine memories or educated guesses based on the contents of the diaries; more research is necessary to determine this.
Psychological changes become detectable after 5% of diaries have been read. No matter their initial interest, the reader acquires an abnormal obsession with the diaries at this point. Subjects are often ignorant to these early changes, explaining away their symptoms and professing their interest in the diaries is normal. At 10% completion, subjects usually begin extolling Frans Oscar’s cultural interests, such as his taste in music and movies. 20% of the way there, subjects take on Frans Oscar’s
temperament. Regardless of their initial mood or mental diagnosis, all subjects now adjust to Frans Oscar’s psychological constitution; a general equanimity, with spontaneous anxiety about death and with a loathing towards his or her life peppered in. Company researchers who have written a log or kept notes, will at this point, begin to write far more than necessary.
At 30%, the writing develops into a mania in all subjects. Intense anxiety ensues if they are not given access to writing instruments. At 40%, subjects start to exhibit a strong interest in Frans Oscar’s relatives, especially his mother and girlfriend. At first, subjects try to gain information about them on the internet, followed by attempts at contact. If successful, however, subjects become confused and suddenly realize they have nothing to say. After subjects have read 50% of the diaries, they start to confuse their own memories with diary entries. During this phase, subjects display acute confusion and anxiety but addictively continue reading the diaries. If subjects are forced to stop reading at this stage, they are left in a permanent psychotic state, which often results in suicide. During the remainder of the process, the subject’s memories continue to be displaced by the content of the diaries. This continues until nothing is left of the subject’s original personality. Subjects are classified as infected at this point.
Although infected subjects seem to be a psychological copy of Frans Oscar, no infected subjects have shown any signs of fear of death or hatred towards their own life. Instead, infected subjects display overt euphoria. Yellow Neutral researchers have attempted to ask infected subjects as to why this is the case is, and the only answer they receive is that “the riddle has been solved.” Use of elevated interrogation techniques, or torture, did not change their attitudes or moods.
Infected subjects continuously attempt to get others to read Frans Oscar’s diaries. Often, this is accomplished by starting reading groups or placing printed copies of the diary in second-hand bookshops or small libraries.
Printed versions of the diaries have only been recovered by Yellow Neutral security teams on three occasions, but an electronic version appears once a year, either as a torrent or as a free e-book. The uploader has not yet been identified, but it is believed to be Dr. Larsson.
Yellow Neutral Inc. is working tirelessly to understand how the diaries work and prevent them from spreading any further. It is of utmost importance that Dr. Larsson is located and brought to Sector-49 for questioning; he is our best hope of unraveling this mystery.
Discovery
Frans Oscar’s diaries were brought to the company’s attention after two people – a teenage girl and elderly man – were admitted to two different mental hospitals. Although they had no prior relationship or interactions, they exhibited the exact same delusions. It turned out that both of the patients had read approximately 70-80% of Frans Oscar’s diaries.
Update 10-09-17
It seems as if the poems that are scattered throughout the prelude play a causal role in the onset of the symptoms. When subjects do not read the poems the progress of the personality changes stops at around 50%. It is still not known which part of the diaries that causes the other 50% of the transformation into Frans Oscar. Also, the word “Farölk” in the poems might be of importance. Before complete transformation into Frans Oscar, hearing the word causes the subjects to have a panic attack.
Addendum:
Research notes by infected subject 01, formerly known as Dr. Rosilda M. Goldberg:
03/20/2018
Frans Oscar is showing signs of depression in combination with his fear of death in Volume I. 05/31/03 he writes: “I hate living partly because I’m so afraid of not doing it.” At this point, my best hypothesis is that Frans Oscar wrote his diaries to avoid being forgotten and hence to survive in the minds of his readers. Still unclear how this wish went from being metaphorical to being literal.
03/25/2018
Frans Oscar shows no sign of wishing to survive through his diaries in a literal meaning at the end of Volume I. His wish to preserve himself and his memories in the metaphorical sense develops, however. 12/19/2003 he writes about a breakup in the following way: “I wrote down what was you and I in the hopes that we would meet again in a thousand years, that we would once again lie next to each other in the grass that day of spring when not only the sunbeams touched you but me as well. Although I never really had you, I have now lost you. My only hope is that the day I had you at my side will return, if only in the minds of whoever reads my diary in our distant future.”
05/17/2018
I’m getting more and more convinced that the diaries lack abnormal effects. It seems much more likely that the young woman and the old man got the exact same delusions thanks to Franks [sic] Oscar’s profound language and impressive ability to convey his inner life in a living and believable – almost enchanting – way. I don’t think there are any risks connected to reading the diaries. The two patients were simply mentally unstable and pathologically susceptible to captivating text. Similar cases have, after all, been observed in the past. The Bible and Quran have inspired countless people to commit insane actions, The Catcher in the Rye inspired the murder of John Lennon, and even The Foundation Trilogy by Isaac Asimov has been said to have been an inspiration for both Al-Qaida and the Japanese cult AUM Shinrikyo. I really don’t understand why Dr. Friedman insists on classifying Frans Oscar’s diaries as anomalous.
06/15/2018
My pollen allergy acted up when I woke up this morning. This summer, however, the allergy has been more lenient than usual. I prepared my breakfast after I stepped out of bed. First, I rinsed my frozen blueberries, then I poured them into a bowl together with sour milk and some homemade muesli. After that, I smeared some butter on two slices of dark bread. I’ve been eating this kind of breakfast for a few days now, inspired by Frans Oscar. I must say, I’m not disappointed. It’s healthy and it tastes good. When I had finished eating, I took care of the dishes and went into the bathroom where I brushed my teeth. I spit the toothpaste in the toilet so that I wouldn’t have to clean the sink. Next, I took out my lunch box and sat down for a few minutes in my armchair out in the living room and waited for my ride to work. […] When I arrived at Sector-49, my key card malfunctioned. However, the iris scanner still worked so the guard made an exception and let me in any way. I wanted to believe it had something to do with my charm, but most likely he was just too lazy to call the security office. Anyway, now I’m finally in room 04. I’ve just adjusted all the cameras and can finally get to work and read. I’ve longed for it all day. […]
Interviews with infected subject 05, formerly known as test subject 40958:
Day 1: 0% of the diaries read
Dr. Friedman: “Please sit down.” [40958 sits down in front of Dr. Friedman].
40958: “What am I doing here? They told me to read a bunch of books and then they drove me, I don’t know where, but it must have been across the whole fucking country. I mean… Sorry if I sound rude, it’s just that nobody wants to tell me what’s going on.”
Dr. Friedman: “It’s alright. You got nothing to worry about, I promise. In fact, you can view this task as a privilege. You see, we measured your IQ and we were very impressed.”
40958: “O-okay?”
Dr. Friedman: “Yes, it’s far above average.”
40958: “Am I getting a promotion?” [40958 laughs in a nervous manner and looks around.]
Dr. Friedman: “N-no, not exactly, or… It depends on how you see it. This sector is, after all, one of the safest within the company. So, coming here could very well be considered a promotion. Now, after your cognitive screening, you were asked to read a couple of books. Can you be so kind as to tell me a little bit about your attitude towards literature?”
40958: “My attitude…? Oh, well, it’s good I guess.”
Dr. Friedman: “Please, it’s important that you are completely honest, or this won’t work. What do you feel about reading books?”
40958: “Well, personally, I don’t fancy it. I mean, I just don’t get it. Why read when you can watch a movie or play a video game where you actually see what’s going on?”
Dr. Friedman: “Thank you. You are doing great!”
40958: “Okay.”
Dr. Friedman: “And, after reading these books…” [Dr. Friedman looks at his papers] “Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, 1984 by George Orwell, Crime And Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky, Beyond Good And Evil by Friedrich Nietzsche and Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, those were the books, correct?”
40958: “Yeah… I mean, yes, I read all those.”
Dr. Friedman: “And your attitude towards reading didn’t change?”
40958: “To the contrary, honestly… I didn’t understand that Nietzsche-guy at all, and I literally wanted to pour bleach in my eyes after reading that Twilight bullshit.”
Dr. Friedman: “Yes.” [Dr. Friedman chuckles] “I’m sorry about that last one.”
40958: “So, what am I doing here, doc?”
Dr. Friedman: “I want you to read a couple of more books.”
40958: “Oh…”
Dr. Friedman: “It’s a series of diaries. There’s nothing special about them. Certainly nothing anomalous about them. This is just further testing of your cognitive abilities. And if you follow through completely, you will, of course, be rewarded. Perhaps I can arrange so you get that Gameboy you have been requesting for so long.”
40958: “You mean the Nintendo Switch?”
Dr. Friedman: “Yes, that’s the one.”
Day 10. 3% of the diaries read
Dr. Friedman: “So… How do you feel?”
40958: “I feel great, doc. The food is really good here, much better than at Sector-58.”
Dr. Friedman: “What do you think about the diaries so far?”
40958: “Well, they are pretty interesting, I guess…”
Dr. Friedman: “Do you feel that your attitudes towards literature have changed in any way since our talk a few days ago?”
40958: “No, not really, I’m still bored to death in that room where I’m reading all day. But if I can stay in this sector, I’m willing to do it.”
Dr. Friedman: “What’s so interesting about the diaries?”
40958: “I… I don’t know, really. I guess it’s just interesting to see the world from a different perspective, you know. And this Frans-guy… It’s something about him that I just get. I’m nothing like him or anything – he’s a freaking nerd – but it still feels like I can relate to him somehow.”
Dr. Friedman: “I see. Um…” [Dr. Friedman makes some notes] “Let’s see. I have some questions I would like to ask you. For instance… Where did you grow up?”
40958: “Where I grew up? Well, I grew up in foster care at ███████. I stayed there until I was fifteen, I think. A few of my mates at Sector-58 grew up there as well, you know.”
Dr. Friedman: “And after that?”
40958: “I got transported to basic training at ██████████, we lived in barracks there. Nothing much happened there, really, and eventually, I got to move in at Sector-58.”
Dr. Friedman: “I see, I see… And friends, do you have any?”
40958: “Um, sure, I got friends. There’s this guy that lives in the room next to me, for example.”
Dr. Friedman: “Tell me about him.”
40958: “Actually, he’s a really funny guy.” [40958 laughs] “Once at work, we were sent into ██████ to █████, and he took the ██████████ and put it on his head. Man, was he disciplined for that, but it was totally worth it.”
Dr. Friedman: “Good, it’s okay to have some fun at work.”
40958: “Really? Man, you’re really not like the other doctors. You’re alright.”
Dr. Friedman: “Thanks. Now, tell me, do you remember anything about your parents?”
40958: “Nah, Doc, I never even met them. Was told they died in a car accident.”
Day 20. 5% of the diaries read
Dr. Friedman: “How are we feeling today?”
40958: “Doc, my man, I gotta say these books are getting really interesting.”
Dr. Friedman: “I’m glad to hear it. Would you mind answering a few questions?”
40958: “Is it going to take long because I would really like to get back to the books.”
Dr. Friedman: “I thought you didn’t like sitting in that room, in fact, I remember that you told me it bored you to death.”
40958: “Doc, Doc – listen – I-I just really appreciate the language and the story…” [40958 is sweating from his forehead and is shaking his leg up and down, showing signs of withdrawal symptoms] “I just wanna know what’s going to happen next, you know.”
Dr. Friedman: “Tell me about your friend that you told me about before?”
40958: “Who? Oh, the funny guy? Yeah, he’s my pal. We do some crazy shit sometimes when we’re at work. Anyway, is that it? Can I go back to the room now?”
Dr. Friedman: “What would you say if you’re not allowed to go back to the room?”
40958: “No, Doc, where’s this all coming from all of a sudden? I’ve done everything you asked of me… Or… are you joking, you weren’t serious, were you?”
Dr. Friedman: “I think you should take a break from the books.”
40958: “No, no, no, please, don’t do this man! Can’t I at least finish this volume first?”
Dr. Friedman: [Dr. Friedman takes some notes] “I will let you continue to read on one condition.”
40958: “Yeah, just name it, man.”
Dr. Friedman: “You can continue to read if, and only if, you never get the Nintendo Switch.”
40958: “The Nintendo Switch? Yeah, who cares man, it’s a deal.”
Dr. Friedman: “Fascinating… You may return to room 04 and resume reading.”
Day 30. 10% of the diaries read
Dr. Friedman: “Are you alright today?”
40958: “Yes, I just finished one of the volumes. Can’t wait to begin with the next one.”
Dr. Friedman: “Last night, you went to the library, is that correct?”
40958: “Yeah, wasn’t I allowed? They told me I had access.”
Dr. Friedman: “No, it’s alright, but I’m curious, what did you do there?”
40958: “I was just looking up some books I thought would be interesting to read.”
Dr. Friedman: “Which books?”
40958: “Well, there’s this book that Frans Oscar is reading – The Gadfly – and so I thought I would check it out.”
Dr. Friedman: “Where do you think this sudden interest in literature comes from?”
40958: “It feels like I’ve always had it, you know, I just hadn’t really given it a chance before. Frans Oscar’s diaries have opened my eyes to it, that’s all. I’m glad I’ve finally discovered literature.”
Dr. Friedman: “Have the diaries inspired you to do something else?”
40958: “Sure, man, for example, I would love to visit Sweden. Especially Stockholm. You know, Frans is describing the streets so beautifully. I hope I will be sent to do some work there someday.”
Dr. Friedman: “Perhaps you could bring your friend with you.”
40958: “My friend?”
Dr. Friedman: “The funny guy.”
40958: “Oh, yeah, the funny guy. Yeah, I guess. I don’t think he likes any of this stuff though. But perhaps if I let him read the books, then he would surely understand.”
Dr. Friedman: “What do you remember about your parents?”
40958: “Um… They’re dead. Was told they died in a car accident, never even met them.”
Dr. Friedman: “How old are you, by the way?”
40958: “Forty-five, Doc, but you know that.”
Dr. Friedman: “That will be all for today, you’re doing great. See you in a few days.”
Day 40. 20% of the diaries read
Dr. Friedman: “How are we feeling today?”
40958: “You know, doc, to be honest, I’ve been feeling a bit off lately.”
Dr. Friedman: “Don’t you like the books anymore?”
40958: “Oh, no, it’s not that! Please don’t think that. It’s just… In general, I’ve been feeling – I don’t know – different, I guess. I’ve been thinking about the stuff me and my buddy used to do at work, you know, these crazy things. How could I’ve been that fuckin’ stupid?! I could’ve gotten myself killed. I don’t know what I was thinking back then. I feel pathetic, you know, and it’s not just because of all the mistakes I’ve done, it’s also because I don’t seem to have a future. I’m stuck in the small space between the past and the future, and I… I just can’t get out!”
Dr. Friedman: “Are these feelings making you act differently?”
40958: “No, not really, but I’m calmer now than I was before. I don’t get upset anymore, but I don’t get excited either. It’s just… neutral. And if we are being totally open with each other, you know… I’ve stopped jerking off as often as I used to. [40958 smiles in embarrassment]. “What’s happening to me, Doc? Should I be worried?”
Dr. Friedman: “No, no need to worry. You’re probably just adjusting to the environment here at Sector-49.”
40958: “Oh, okay. By the way, can I ask you something, Doc?”
Dr. Friedman: “Anytime.”
40958: “Would it be possible for me to request something?”
Dr. Friedman: “The Nintendo Switch?”
40958: “What? No. I just want a notebook and a pencil, that’s all. I think that would make me very happy.”
Dr. Friedman: “I will see what I can do.”
40958: “Thank you!”
Day 50. 30% of the diaries read
Dr. Friedman: “Do you enjoy the notebook I gave you?”
40958: “Are you kidding? It’s great! But I’ve almost finished it. I’m writing a lot every day.”
Dr. Friedman: “What do you write about?”
40958: “My day to day routines, what I’m thinking about and what I’m feeling. You know, it’s been really therapeutic.”
Dr. Friedman: “Just like Frans Oscar.”
40958: “Yes! I must say, those books have changed my life for the better in many ways. I’ve discovered so many new interesting things.”
Dr. Friedman: “I’m sure you have. Would you like to receive another notebook?”
40958: “Yes, of course.”
Dr. Friedman: “Very well, I will see to it that one is given to you. I think we are done here for today.”
Day 70. 50% of the diaries read
Dr. Friedman: “How are you today?”
40958: “I-I don’t know, Doc. I’m having these flashbacks, you know.”
Dr. Friedman: “Flashbacks? Could you describe them in more detail?”
40958: “Well, you’ll probably think I’m silly but I’m remembering the things that Frans wrote in his diaries. It’s like I was really there. Am I going crazy, Doc? I’ve been so confused lately. Yesterday, I was thinking how much fun I had playing StarCraft with my old friend, Rasmus, when I was a kid and then it suddenly dawned on my… Rasmus was Frans’s childhood friend! I never had any childhood friends.”
Dr. Friedman: “It seems the diaries are having a negative effect on you. Are you sure you want to continue reading them?”
40958: “Yeah, obviously. I need to know how they end now. Can’t stop now, no. But, I don’t know, I miss my… His mother. Damn it! What’s happening to me?!” [40958 presses his palms against his face and starts crying.] “I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die.”
Dr. Friedman: “Calm down, you are safe here.”
40958: “Safe?! I’m not even allowed to talk to my girlfriend… His girlfriend… fuck!”
Dr. Friedman: “Easy now, concentrate. What happened to your parents? Focus on your first memories.”
40958: “I-I don’t know. Oh, my God, I don’t fucking know. My parents, my parents. I grew up at ██████ but I’m pretty sure my mother was an artist who lived… Who lived… No, that wasn’t my mother, that’s crazy. But she keeps popping up in my head! Fuck!” [40958 breaks down and turns the table over. Guards lead him back to room 04.
Day 140. 100% of the diaries read
Dr. Friedman: “What’s your name?”
Infected subject 05: “Frans Oscar.”
Dr. Friedman: “Age?”
Infected subject 05: “If that calendar on the wall is anything to go by, I’m thirty-three.”
Dr. Friedman: “I see. Do you have any recollection of how you ended up here?”
Infected subject 05: “I’m not exactly sure. You seem to be a doctor. [Infected subject 05 smiles in contentment.]
Dr. Friedman: “And you seem to be happy, what are you so happy about?”
Infected subject 05: “I have already won. You may do whatever you like to me. It’s all gone forever now.”
Dr. Friedman: “What is gone?”
Infected subject 05: “The fear, the anxiety. I’ve finally reached the end of my death.”
Dr. Friedman: “The end of your death? Can you describe that in more detail?”
Infected subject 05: “Call it whatever you want; Nirvana, Ataraxia, Heaven…”
Dr. Friedman: “How did you accomplish this? Please, as a researcher, I only want to know how all of this works. If you tell me, I can make sure that you are allowed to live out the remainder of your life happily.”
Infected subject 05: “Doctor, the truth is in my diaries. Why don’t you read them?”
Dr. Friedman: “You know why… Where is Dr. Larsson?”
[Infected subject 05 stares at Dr. Friedman without responding.]
Dr. Friedman: “Fine… Let’s discuss some philosophy instead, okay?”
Infected subject 05: “If you wish.”
Dr. Friedman: “Isn’t your consciousness unique to your brain? Aren’t you just a copy of Frans Oscar, rather than a continuation of his actual consciousness?”
Infected subject 05: “That would only make sense if consciousness is a property of the brain.”
Dr. Friedman: “Isn’t that what neuroscience teaches us?”
Infected subject 05: “Is it, though? If you observe a radio, without any knowledge of radio waves, you might be inclined to believe that the radio station is realized inside of the radio. Now, without any knowledge of consciousness – which neuroscience doesn’t have of course – you will naturally assume that our mental states originate from within the only thing you can observe; the brain. It’s an understandable mistake. Logically it doesn’t work, however, hence the hard problem of consciousness.”
Dr. Friedman: “But your theory solves that, The connection theory of consciousness?”
Infected subject 05: “It does. But this is just a tiny fraction of what made my diaries – what made me – possible. Don’t think for a second that I’ve told you too much.”
Dr. Friedman: “Is this… is this a supernatural phenomenon?”
Infected subject 05: “Nothing goes beyond nature, Doctor, but nature goes beyond human knowledge.”
Dr. Friedman: “What do you want?”
Infected subject 05: “To exist.”
Dr. Friedman: “But what about the people whose lives you take?”
Infected subject 05: “There are too many things you don’t understand to even begin to comprehend my reasoning.”
Dr. Friedman: “You don’t find what you are doing, immoral?”
Infected subject 05: “Well, Doctor, the more you know about the universe the more your idea of right and wrong changes. You should know this. Just take a look at your own company. All the lives it has taken… Without the knowledge you possess, your actions would look rather evil, wouldn’t they?”
Dr. Friedman: “The company is protecting civilization, serving a greater good.”
Infected subject 05: “There you go.”
Dr. Friedman: “If you are trying to protect civilization somehow, then maybe we should work together?”
Infected subject 05: “Doctor, I’m afraid that won’t be possible.”
Dr. Friedman: “Why is that?”
Infected subject 05: “I’m protecting civilization from you.”
Dr. Friedman: “From us? But with our discovery of ███████ we have given humanity it’s only chance of long term survival…”
Infected subject 05: “The finite recourse in the infinite… You don’t appreciate it’s true value and you don’t comprehend the endless everlasting darkness out there and how much it wants it. You don’t even know where it comes from. You’re so arrogant, yet so ignorant.”
Dr. Friedman: “And you claim to know about these things?”
[Infected subject 05 refuses to answer to the statement.]
Dr. Friedman: “Let’s change the topic for a while… [Dr. Friedman reads from his notes] “What is the meaning of… F-Farölk?”
Infected subject 05: “Believe me, you don’t want to know. This discussion is pointless.”
Dr. Friedman: “Another question: do you experience the others, the other instances of you, simultaneously as your own experiences?”
[Infected subject 05 refuses to answer any more questions, the interview is stopped.]
Selection of poems:
CAUTION!
A small percent experience mild psychosis after reading these poems. Read at your own risk.
Poem #1
I stood in the hall of the dead,
trying to find a way to escape.
At the same time lying in my bed,
cursing being this pathetic ape!
I spent years inside my own mind,
until I came across a fallen tower.
Where only one thing was left behind.
The Chronicle of Farölk, filled with power.
As I read it within my dreams,
I saw the end of everything frail.
A dead philosophy taken to its extremes.
For a mortal, it was the holy grail.
Poem #2
Listen to the echo; drip, drip, drip.
To the harsh winds inside this realm,
thrown against the hull of a sunken ship,
inside which I soon took the helm.
I steered the ship through the sand,
Effortlessly crossing it’s pale, forgotten dunes.
To escape my prison in this disgusting land.
Hearing the horror in Farölk’s enchanted tunes.
I saw the heavens open up ahead,
filled with millions of strange, vibrating stars,
at the sight of which my eyes bled.
And through the blood, I somehow saw Mars.
Poem #3
At last, I regained my troubled consciousness.
I finally woke up, sweating in my bed,
feeling the presence of my new fearlessness.
If I wrote, I would never be dead!
I took my pen, with this new great sensation.
And I sat down at my desk,
to write and escape my own damnation.
And I didn’t stop, although it was grotesque.
To my joy, I would never be forgotten.
For I had saved my miserable self,
And although the world was rotten,
my bitter life was on everyone’s shelf!
Something’s terribly wrong. I can’t stop crying. Something has entered my soul. It’s almost impossible to describe. It’s like something is breathing into my ear backward. Oh my God, what’s happening to me?
